To My Antonio


My grief will not end. It is triggered by many things, mornings are hard, coming back home isn’t the same without you, and sleeping will never be the same with your paws on my face.

Many has been telling me that if I have effectively mourned your loss, I will then achieve closure. I’m not sure if someone lost his kid can achieve that ever, emotions are triggered in anytime and sometimes all the time. I’m trying to hide them but sometimes I burst crying because they are so strong inside me.

Charismas will be so hard without you around. I was gonna celebrate your birthday in February, but it will be hard on me and Ophelia.

From previous experience, and as time passes, I think the intensity of feelings about the loss will lessen, I might find ways to sooth or distract myself. But I will not be able to get over it because that’s impossible.

I came today to office to see flowers from my favorite colleague on my desk, with a note of “Remember all the love and fun”. Maybe that is a way to remember you, my beloved “Antonio”.

Today I wrote your name near to my heart because you will always be with me till I meet your beautiful soul in a better place.

Love, Mom

MY ERDEM x H&M


Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

On Friday I went to see “Dracula” at the Royal Opera in Stockholm.

The opera is based on Bram Stoker’s classic novel of 1897, and most people know at least the essentials of the story.

It has been filmed a number of times, however, this was the first time the tale has reached the operatic stage, and it is a truly stunning and spectacular, visually and musically.

The Dracula story has been always one of favorite intense love story since I was a kid. The story has indeed changed everything we know about the world’s most famous vampire.

I was so happy and excited as a kid when my boyfriend booked us the tickets and it was a great experience to go together to the royal opera for the first time, but not the last.

Hope you all had a great weekend! XO

Unhook The Bra


Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine Elnadeem

Jasmine ElnadeemT-Shirt, MissGuided – Skirt & Jacket, H&M

No matter how exquisite my bra, or how exquisitely it fits me or not, I always look forward to the exquisitely marvelous moment when I take it off at the end of the day.

Bras, like other fashion items, are built on the idea of scaling proportion, but the scale does not center on the cup — it’s the band that’s the star here.  The problem with most of us that our breasts are not the same shape or weight.  Actually almost no one has perfectly symmetrical breasts except if they gone for a plastic surgery.

Anyway, I unhooked my bra in order to have my usual yearly mammogram. Now I’m waiting the full mammogram report which will be sent by the health care provider.