Because the days come and go. I have done what I could. Tomorrow is a new day. I will try to begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with my old nonsense.
Yes, some days are shit. Some days are awful, the shit hit the fan. But these days don’t last forever, and they finish when you shut your eyes and sleep. I know that my problems won’t go away overnight, but my stress and my pain and will be less.
I don’t want to hold onto the bad. I try to let it go, as quickly as possible and will hold on the good things and not let the excitement of the moment slips away.
My grief will not end. It is triggered by many things, mornings are hard, coming back home isn’t the same without you, and sleeping will never be the same with your paws on my face.
Many has been telling me that if I have effectively mourned your loss, I will then achieve closure. I’m not sure if someone lost his kid can achieve that ever, emotions are triggered in anytime and sometimes all the time. I’m trying to hide them but sometimes I burst crying because they are so strong inside me.
Charismas will be so hard without you around. I was gonna celebrate your birthday in February, but it will be hard on me and Ophelia.
From previous experience, and as time passes, I think the intensity of feelings about the loss will lessen, I might find ways to sooth or distract myself. But I will not be able to get over it because that’s impossible.
I came today to office to see flowers from my favorite colleague on my desk, with a note of “Remember all the love and fun”. Maybe that is a way to remember you, my beloved “Antonio”.
Today I wrote your name near to my heart because you will always be with me till I meet your beautiful soul in a better place.